Ok here we go, I'm gonna explain life, the whole lot, all the things you think are weird, spooky and co-incidence, the whole shebang.

I make no apologies to anyone who sees this being against their God etc, If you are offended about that sort of thing click back NOW.

As expected this may take a while to compile, the Payntrix will throw things like eating, sleep, eating, work and the occasional meal into the mix to distract me from this. But I'll get there.


Welcome to the PAYNTRIX, Yeah my version of the MATRIX.


These points are a given, If you don't get it, go and rent the three Matrix films and come back

  1. There is no LIFE, there is a Matrix.
  2. The Matrix is a form of computer. It has similar component structure, processor, memory, storage device etc.... What they are ? Ask the Oracle
  3. I exist, I have a 'program' if you want to call it that, and you may just be a sub-routine of my Payntrix or you could have your own place in the matrix.

I am going to list the proofs that we exist in a generated environment and not a real world by giving examples of real life. After you've read it you'll walk down the street tomorrow and realise I'm right.


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Just like a computer game the only structures present are the ones we need to see. If you aint looking at it, its not there. It's along the lines of the tree falling in the woods making a noise.... you have to detect it to know and if you put something in place to detect it you make it happen......

So next time you drive down the motorway, there is only images generated to show behind you when you look in the mirror. Fold your mirrors away and it doesn't bother generating them. Its a waste of memory, processor, optical output and energy.


The system is good, and under most conditions we would not know any different until things go wrong.

You only notice and remember the server at work when its going slow, see, its true

As the system encounters trouble it enters a state of load-shed and energy saving. We, well I 'cos I don't know you're really there, can spot the symptoms of these system failures, just like a slow server.


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If the processor is running slow, busy or undergoing maintenance full Payntrix ability is not available. The easy way to save processing usage is to reduce the optical generation. By reducing the amount of information to display, the Payntrix can give the appearance of normal running but at reduced processor load. So how does it do this???


Ok, fog, think about it what can you see??? Sod all. you can see a few big things close by (not complicated to generate) a big slab of brown for a tree, two dim red dots for the car in front. easy. The Payntrix teaches me as a child that fog is weather.... yeah its true, it depends weather the processor can cope or not.

As you look around the Payntrix does not have to generate a horizon, sky, clouds, distance detail, just the big stuff up close. Now the clever bit to prove the bug in the software.

As you drive down the road in reasonable fog try to gauge how far you can see forward. Get this clear in your head before you do the next step.

Now look in the rear view mirror. You will be able to see much further, probably two or three times as far. If you stop the car, get out and look around the fog will be equally thick in all directions. So there are two possibilities, either you drove through and cleared the fog and you could see behind or the Payntrix has a bug. Move the fog? dream on, have you ever followed another car in the fog? does it push the for out the way for you so you can see? No chance. If it did there would be a little car shaped tunnel in the fog.


The software bug is this. Standard practice is to generate an image looking in one direction and momentarily store it for re-presentation if needed. If you drive down the road under normal conditions the Payntrix takes the images generated and for rear view shrinks them to create perspective. There is no additional processing power used because the image has already been created. Under processor restrictions it still carries out this without taking full fog conditions into consideration.

So fog proves a bug in the system.

and SNOW

Snow, is a more extreme form of load shed. The fog retains most colours within the limited viewing range. A further reduced processor will resort to greyscale colouring or even black and white. Falling snow fits into the interference category too. A good layer of settled snow removes all detail from everything. It also removes all colour, turning our image forming requirements to a minimal level. A black stick tree here, a white lump with a smooth black arc drawn on it for a car. As the processor recovers a little people will clear all their windscreen but mostly just use the wipers to reduce car image detail.

I am not aware of any bugs in the snow load-shed routine, but next time I'll try and spot some. Snow in the mirrors and a rear window full of snow have stopped me testing the fog proof.

Was playing in the snow today and noticed two extra load shed things. Sound is dramatically reduced. It is so quiet when there is snow on the ground and even more so when it is actually snowing.

The other load shed function is change of velocity i.e. acceleration. To change speed the Payntrix must apply force sense generation and visual stimulation with precision so to minimise processor use it limits the amount of acceleration and deceleration you are allowed to experience, hence your car will wheel spin and skid to limit the force senses.

In certain instances following a sustained limitation of the forces it will occasionally allow you a quick blast of deceleration and noise combined. This usually involves a wall, a parked car, or tree.

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Just like every computer the operating system and application programs need updating from time to time. So, just like the little screen pops up at the bottom of your screen saying 'Windows update available would you like to download now?' a similar thing happens in the Payntrix. Those who work with software driven systems will know that when the system is updated you have to erase old databases once you have completed the installation to eliminate false messages being shown.


The problem within the Payntrix is that when the software is loaded you will loose a section of memory. So imagine you had a software update right now, you would loose all the data stored in the temporary memory and you would not be able to recall a huge chunk of your day or reading the first part of this page. The Payntrix handles this by preparing you for the memory loss.


Instead of the Windows option you get one you will understand.

"A Payntrix update is available would you like a beer?"

If you go for the beer the Payntrix offers another and another until you are in a position to be upgraded. The next thing you will be aware of is your system calibrating itself. The new software will erase all historical parameters so arms legs etc will seem slow as the Payntrix learns the loadings and forces required to move about. Audible calibration will also require setting, the default value being maximum. Optical Calibration will usually take five to ten minutes meaning that the system keeps checking light intensity against known values resulting in your eyes closing repeatedly. One undesirable side affect of all this calibration is the excessive activity results in a headache. There are cases of the intestinal function rates being reset too low, this can lead to a long calibration period. Until the flow rates are increased attempts to eat too quickly result in overflow and object rejection.

Symptoms following a system update are

        No memory         - Database erased during software upgrade

        Headache            - System activity due to calibration

        Loud noises         - Audible default values fail safe set to high volume.

        Tired                   - Eyes calibrating against new environment

        Slow movements - Arm leg and head loading and force calibration

        Vomiting             - Stomach flow rates set too low (Professional eaters like myself tend not to suffer with this)


There are two general areas for software upgrades to take place. There are DIY kits available or you can go to the software clinic in the local software hospital. There are lots of software hospitals located around the country. My local centre has a 'No appointment required' system and you can drop in anytime for beer to trigger the process.


There are differing views on this. Some parts of the community believe that a Devine being being wrote the program and are purists who never attempt to upgrade. These people can often be seen as outcasts and they generally convene in groups to scorn the up-graders, believing they are in some way superior.

However, there is a risk with software that the revised version may contain new problems. So for some people frequent upgrades is a must. If there is a software patch the full database erase is not required and one beer few times a week will allow the software to be installed seamlessly. These people are generally saved the calibration sequence and are right up to date with all the performance improvements on offer.

This regular updating must not be mistaken for error correction. In the event that there is a critical system error you will require a major firmware update. This can not be completed in the time frame generated by beer so the update is broken down into smaller more regular upgrades. These require the full compliment of beer but the calibration process can be reduced as familiarity sets in.

The more problems there are, the more software updates you will need. The more updates you need the more memory breaks you need. The more memory breaks you need the more beer you need.

Think about it.

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There are two types of memory in a computer, and equally the same in the Payntrix. There is the RAM for short term memory and image creation. and the Hard drive for long term storage. The Payntrix does have a large hard drive (long term memory) but there is a limit to the amount of RAM that is available.

When a large number of processes are active there may be occasions when the RAM becomes limited. The Payntrix manages its memory use and the effects can be noticed. You may not be aware that there is a significant amount of processes running but you can detect the effect of them reducing the amount of spare RAM.


The Payntrix saves RAM by using the same image repeatedly. This can be witnessed in several ways.

You never see one till you've got one.

How many times have you decided to buy a new car and gone for something different from the last one. You think what you would like, maybe check a few dealers, look in the auto trader and finally get one. At this point you will start to see the same sort of car all over the place. You will not recall seeing them before you had one, but now they will be everywhere.

It happened to me with the scooby, sure I used to see them here and there, they are hardly shrinking violets but now..... they are everywhere. There are two more in the depot where I work, one of my neighbours has one now, I pass two every day I go to work...... unreal.

The second way the Payntrix saves RAM is to repeat certain events.

I live out in the country and the first three or four miles of any journey is country lanes. They are not particularly wide and in general you drive in the middle off the road until something comes the other way. As I head off to work in the mornings I have to take it easy while I'm in the lanes as the engine oil has to warm up and the neighbours get the ache with the less than subtle exhaust. so I am poodling along not too fast, nice and quiet when a robin flies out of the bushes lining the lane and lands bang in the middle of the road in front of me. I back off a fraction to let him (or her) fly away and continue ..... after a few bends a robin flies out of the bushes lining the lane and lands bang in the middle of the road in front of me. I back off a fraction to let him (or her) fly away and continue....... ! then several  bends later a robin flies out of the bushes lining the lane and lands bang in the middle of the road in front of me. I back off a fraction to let him (or her) fly away and continue.

Now come on, I can do the maths and the odds of that are pretty slim......... and there is more,

I was going out for a meal in a place I didn't know and we were running a bit late. Again getting anywhere from my place means going through the lanes, so inevitably we got stuck behind a slower car. Now that in itself isn't uncommon but it gets weird, I had just got off the phone from my mum and dad after talking about the place they used to live. It wasn't mentioned but I remembered that our old neighbour John had a Citroen 2CV6. The mental image formed and within ten minutes I was stuck behind a white 2CV6 with green wheel arches.

Ok, I can live with that, these things happen but after passing it (at a suitable passing place and within the speed limits) we found our way to a dual carriageway. To make up for the delay we decided to test the rev limiter in 5th, what did we drive past? ? ? ? yep, a white 2CV6 with green arches. Now there is no possible way it was the same car, we had been going in a dead straight line then onto the dual carriageway continuing in the same direction.

The odds ?   no chance. Gotta be the Payntrix with low memory.

... And it gets even weirder. The Payntrix has been on the web for a couple of years now but my parents had never read it until today. On their journey this morning they passed a Citroen 2CV6 and started talking about John, a few hours later their eyes are opened to the Payntrix and the 2CV6 event above. Now that's just plain lazy Payntrix ! ! !

Lastly, heading towards London on the M20 and saw a low loader with three brand new tractors on, Big wheels, bright Blue cabs, loads of money. Now it caught my eye as I thought what would you be doing taking three tractors to the same place? How often do you sell one, let alone three. So the image was firm in the memory, and I saw another low loader identical to the first, then a third and fourth.

Now that you could argue was not uncommon, as car transporters often run in convoy so maybe, but TWELVE tractors? mmmmmmm then while I was thinking about adding to the Payntrix description I was going London bound on the M20,, , ;........ you guessed it, three tractors on a low loader, big wheels, bright blue cab.... A A A A aaaaaaarrrghhhhh but only one low loader this time.

So next time you see the same thing happen quickly in succession, or the same car or lorry go past remember its not chance you're low on RAM.


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Now a few of you have heard my ramblings about the Payntrix and most of the time you recognise what I'm talking about and agree. Jeff, came to me a while back and said 'I have more proof of your Payntrix', well that's the gist of the translated scouse......

He was travelling down from beautiful Liverpool, or Macclesfield or some place up north to the sunny south and got caught in a real storm on the motorway. Now Jeff had not seen rain like it and figured that the best way to describe it was take a picture of the rain and show us when he eventually made it to civilisation. So when Jeff said, ay Paynter, take a look at this rain mate, I couldn't see a thing....... the picture was as clear as a bell. . . . !

So our thought are,

Rain is interference, the imaging section of the Payntrix is refreshing so quickly that you see any interference as unclear bits of image (just like your TV) but the camera takes a longer look at the image and therefore does not 'see' the interference as it can build the image up over time.

This also rings true with the differing areas of the world, they are not in fact differing climates, they have differing signal strength and hence a differing amount of interference, resulting in more of what we call rain.

Thanks, Jeff

This has been taken further, should we consider lightening to be electrostatic discharge across the mother board? It does fit. Imagine the board is overheating, the cooling fans start (wind) and then the pressure builds up until discharge is inevitable.

Thanks RDB


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You know when the alarm goes off and there is just no way you can get up. With the best will in the world you have to reach across and press the snooze button just for those precious five minutes..... well that is not you just being lazy, oh no.....

Picture the scene, you get to work, put the kettle on press the power button on the PC and sit down to talk about last nights TV, footy match, whatever, then you notice the blue screen of death. turn it off, turn it on and its ok...... just the same,

When the Payntrix starts in the mornings and fails its Power On Self Test it automatically activates the reboot sequence, your arm reaches across to the snooze button and the sequence restarts. Sometimes it takes one reboot, other times three or four but next time the boss has a moan for your timekeeping, tell him, " I failed my Power On Self Test this morning and had to reboot"

Thanks TLHG

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Remember as a kid, your mum would whisper on the bus, "Stop staring, its rude", and you couldn't help it. The punk with purple and green hair, the old woman with a moustache, you know what I mean...... We learn to stop or control our staring but there is a Payntrix reason for the inability to avert our gaze sometimes.

When do you really stare? not that often, and when you do you'll probably be in a queue in a shop and you find yourself just staring then you realise and snap out of it. While you are staring there is no perception of time you are just in a daze.

This is the Payntrix controlling and synchronising information with another player. When you stare at someone, either deliberately or inadvertently the Payntrix runs a check to see if the image you see is another player (sub routine) or if it is just a generated image. If it is a player then the two subroutines synchronise in case they need to interact. This causes a momentary pause in the Payntrix processing data for the player and so we freeze into a stare.

Testing the theory.

Have you ever been walking down the street and 'felt' someone staring at you? only to look round and see someone there who has just broken their eyes away. This may happen more if you are covered in tattoos or if you wear outlandish clothes, but they are not the real stares that you can feel they are just looks. You can do it yourself too, as you are sitting looking out of a window in a coffee shop, or waiting for a bus stare at the back of someone's head, a real proper stare and see if they look round. Its spooky just how often it will make them look round.

So now you can stare at people to your hearts content and claim to be checking if they are playing the Payntrix.

Thanks Agent 3263827


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So now we have it that it is all a computer game, we need to know who is playing….. Staring is one method, some use it, but it is not one to use all the time. The real test is more subtle than that. We need to think about the behaviour and appearance of real players verses that of a generated character.

So the first thing about gennies (generated characters) is that the Payntrix will repeat images or actions to save unnecessary processor or image usage. Football crowds will be full of gennies. Pubs, night clubs, train stations and beaches are all areas where the Payntrix will employ gennies to fill your view. These gennies will all do similar stuff, wear similar clothes, react in similar ways, often re-enforcing your pre-conceived ideas about how they should act.

How do you spot a player?

Well they may well be in the same place and look similar to a gennie, but remember gennies have been created by software, admittedly very advanced software but the parameters will be limited. I work in an industry where there are groups of people in a workshop doing maintenance tasks. I have worked in several locations around London and the south east and can spot the gennies. Some people I work with are almost identical to people from other sites. Some look, act and speak in a similar way which reinforces the fact that the Payntrix is using gennies. How often do you watch the TV and say 'look that bloke looks just like.......'

So there is no real immediate test you can apply just with experience you will recognise gennies as standard characters that the Payntrix is applying to your game.


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Why do people fit energy saving light bulbs to their houses? Its not to reduce the load on the power station, its just to cut down on electricity bills a little. Weather they are actually financially beneficial to the home user I'm not too sure but the theory is sound. The Payntrix has it's own version of energy saving bulbs. Again this is not to reduce the load to the system due to an inability to cope with the load, merely common sense.

So what is it?



Yep, consider the loadings and data requirements without TV. If there is no TV then each gennie will have to have a pretty much unique experience stored in the memories in case it encounters a player.

What did you do last night? , well I did this really interesting thing that you have never done and there are four terabytes of info tied up in the Payntrix just on that one event.


What did you do last night? , well I just sat back didn't expend any energy and watched a TV program. (energy save 1) and the paper says that ten million other people watched exactly the same thing at exactly the same time. (energy save 2) And now today I'm going to wander around talking to a load of those people saying 'did you watch that old garbage on the TV last night?' and we'll pause what we are doing and discuss the ins and outs of the same story that we saw (energy save 3). All for the same piece of memory in the Payntrix. (energy save 4)

That could be why the world had a lot less colours in the past to reduce the loadings on the Payntrix and the TV modification or software upgrade freed up a whole load of extra bandwidth allowing new colours and sounds.

By the way Top Gear on BBC2 is worth saving energy for......

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I have always enjoyed patterns in numbers and have found many times in my life that there is a nice little sequence of numbers in something. For instance, just after I passed my driving test I managed to apply a little impact body styling to my mums car (sorry mum). By the time mum and dad got the AA to drag the wreck home it was quite late..... well when I looked at the clock it said 1:11.

Now it may be a bit sad but I have noticed that I regularly look at a clock or watch at the same times each day without prompting.

At first I thought it was just odd that I looked at the clock at 12:34 (1,2,3,4) then it started to happen more and more. It became a little weird so I told a guy I work with and started to point out when I spotted it. They are getting bored now with it but at least five days a week I will check the time at 12:34.

The probability of me looking I suppose is 1 in 600 (if I'm at work for ten hours 10 * 60). If we consider that I may look at the time ten times a day the odds drop to 1 in 60. So for me to manage that five days in a row is 1 in 777 million ! ! ! ! (notice the triple 7) and I do this pretty much every week so the odds just get higher and higher ......... This can't be just chance. Must be the Payntrix, but why it's doing it to me I have no idea.

And its getting worse....... I have managed to find another time that I keep seeing. 16:34. Now this one is more subtle, I used to go ice skating in Gillingham and ring my mates from there on a Saturday morning to see if they were going. What is the dialling code? ? ? ? yep, 01634...... Now once I had seen it the first time and made the link to the dialling code I have started to see it more and more often. I suppose I should keep a log on how often i actually see them.

Weird, or perhaps its just me...... ? !


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There have been a number of religions over time and still today that believe in reincarnation. This may or may not be the case and it may go against your religion, but until now you did not know about the Payntrix so what if.....

If we accept that life as we know it is a computer program, then it is possible that the program is similar to those that we see available in the shops for our computers and games consoles. Some of the games now allow you to choose your character or the car you drive. When the game is over you can have another go in a different car. So extending that to the Payntrix, when it is game over you go back to the start menu and choose the next player profile, do you choose to be a boy or a girl? , a dog or a cat, a tiger? a bird? who knows.......

It could be that as you play the games you gain credits, and these credits allow you differing levels of life. Maybe you need 1000 credits to be a car salesman, 1500 credits to be a snake, 1,000,000 credits to be a prince..... ? and the same with animals, your choice of species is dictated by the number of credits you have. You need more to be a cat than a dog because of the extra freedom, and nine lives.

Now there will be rules to stop people cheating by bringing old memories with you, so it could be that you are allowed to take the memories of the last species that you were but you can't be the same species twice in a row. How many times have you looked at your pet and they look back as if they know..... Were they a human last time? People who are afraid of dogs now maybe they were cats last time they played.?

There are about 6,500 billion people alive right now in the world. As the human population has increased there are other species reduce in numbers as we make them extinct. There must be a maximum number of players allowed so, as we strive to protect species from extinction there must be a re-balance elsewhere. Have you noticed that the birth rates have dropped in the last 15 years?


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